Experiential Love

I wrote this poem after a particularly influential worship night on the Pinnacle mountain.
Who knows if the words are even mine... :)

I want you to experience what I experienced. So read it not just with your eyes, but with your spirit too. That's what it was made for. Enjoy.

Whoever wants it,
Take a blade of grass
From the tufts and rolling hills
Of your pasture, overgrown.

I’m feeling who you are
I’m breathing the very essence of you
Your love, astounding.
My heart is not ready for such a beautiful flame.
I can’t contain it, I’m not ready
The small piece of You floats into my nostrils
And the slightest upward glance
Delivers me into your surrounding embrace.

My body is a flame.

Even my mind has been obliterated
and now I can’t do anything but focus on Your presence in this room.
So thick I can barely see my own two feet
All around me, a host of freedom fighters
Urging me into it…come into the water.

I’d take a step in but my feet are glued down
Each breath, like cement seeping into my lungs.
I’m falling, I’m falling into your atmosphere
Upward, downward I really don’t care
It’s the “inward” that matters
When the outward tends to fail.

But fall into you I go
And I step into a piece of forgotten wonderland…

The troops are rejoicing
My feet pick up speed, and I’m flying now
Each particle of air seems to hit my face with a piercing sort of force
Everything is magnified.
Everything magnifies.
Did I tell You how much I love this?
I go from space to space but I never fall into this place.
Oh but I wish you would.
I would I could.

I’m floating now, silenced in your stillness.
Then He comes……

He comes.
He is here.
My heartbeat quickens, my back is against the wall
Everything moves faster and faster,
My head can’t keep up.
I love you, I want you, I want you not!
I want you now, but I can’t have you here.
I can’t feel any part of me anymore
I’m just a disconnected blob of energy, waiting to explode

But then explode, I do.

Everything outside me wants to come inside
And I’m not sure I’ve made room for You.
I’m so full of You
And I’m so thirsty for You still…

You take me into your heart
Your huge, boundless heart.
It’s an untold mystery
Where everything fits, and nothing melts away
You see each one
With a fire in your eyes.
Fierce love that burns every past sin away.

Your eyes are like deep crystal clear water pools
That never run out
Of Your love, so abounds.

I’m thinking about you,
I’m smelling you,
I’m tasting the sweet parts of you.
You’re a banquet of perfect love,
One that casts out all fear before You.

I’m getting so full
I don’t know if I’ll stay here
I’d love to, I can’t.
So delightful, so terrifying…

Farewell perfect, experiential love.

You’ve once again transformed me in every way,
Touched the deepest, darkest, prickly parts of me
Formed a beautiful, fragrant, bed of flowers for me.
And watched me with awe of what You have created.
How you could look at me with those eyes of fire,
I’m not really sure.
But I’m glad that You did.

And You’ll do it again…

And again.
And again.