It's Allll About Perspective, People...

Con's

I'm sick...with some sort of mild-ish cold that makes my eyes water, my nose run, and my body tiredddff

I've eaten more than a horse in the last few days

I have to work tonight even though I'm sick

My last little yoga class to teach is this Thursday...*tear

My last dinner with my family before I move away is Tuesday September 8th.

I have to drive 9 hours to take Jess back to school in a few days...I hate travelling.

I have to take a bus from Boston to New London, New Hampshire and I hate riding buses.

I'm almost done with my book which is awesome, but at the same time I know I will be sad to finish it because that gives me one less thing to procrastinate sleeping at night... :)

I have a cold

I'm sick

And I hate being sick.


Pro's

My family is all here - My grandparents from New Jersey, my sister from California, my bros, my parents, my two cute puppies, my other grandma, and me. I LOVE having a full house.

Yes, I've eaten way too much in the last few days, but oh boy was it worth it...You'd be a fool not to try mama's eggplant parmasan. I mean, come on! Mama mia!!

I'm sick, but not as sick as last time. So I count that as a pro.

Yes, I have to work tonight but I'm making moneyyyys!! That's always a pro, right??

No no, I GET to take a bus from Boston to New London because walking a hundred miles with 50 pounds worth of luggage would be much much worse :)

My last little yoga class to teach is this Thursday, but now instead of running around with a bunch of 2-5 year olds for a half hour, I will have a BILLION more times energy on Mondays and Thursdays to devote to other important things...like...working out. Hmm, don't think that one will happen. Oh well, it's a PRO! (honestly, either way I will miss it...i love my little two year olds :)

I also GET to drive Jessica back to school with my mom because we always make road trips loads of fun...Every single time. Always fun. Pringles, loud country music, the wind in our hair, a clunky old suburban that has the constant potential to break down on the side of whatever road you're traveling on, lots of picture ops, and hilarious stories. GOOD. times.




Now you see? It's all about your perspective in life. I was thinking about this last night - about how negative I can be sometimes. I catch myself focusing on all the bad without seeing the upside of things. It makes me mad. SO, I could choose to be the glass half empty kind of gal and see life for what it isn't, or I could flip my eggs to sunny side up and realize how great my life truly is. I think I'll choose the latter.

Perfection By Definition

love

it flows from our hearts

lies dormant till its' time

its' call.

its' season.

then released into the atmosphere

through your more than willing, waiting, soul

it swirls around with unusual grace

but stable in some magical, romantical way

a three way tide

shared between The Father, you, and another lucky somebody

it stretches and bends with generosity

all encompassing.

all consuming.

everlasting in perfection and righteousness.

never will it tire, never will it die.

Inspiration

Write and be happy, I always say... Don't write and, well, spend the rest of your days in a hellhole properly titled, "uninspired."

-Me

Closed Book

Well, my time here is almost finished and I only wish it lasted a few more months...or years. I feel so connected with this place, these people. I want to stay forever but I know that it wouldn't be in the right timing for me to do so...

"So off I go, back home to everything I wish I could turn around; If only the present could last forever..."

Miss you, sweet home. You will always be my first real home. I never thought I could be this sentimental about a plot of land. I hope it's like this for many plots afterward...Hmm, what could the future hold? That's the thing about the future, it's a closed book until we get there. But by then it's called the present.

Winds of Change

It is strange to think I've been away for so long
But when I walk outside it feels as though I never left it
The earth speaks to me like it always did before
Strange familiarity and sweet rememberance

As I walk and look and pray,
I can't help but feel the difference in the spirit
Like my time here is up, I've run out of things to connect to
I remember it as it once was, but it is slightly different now...

The distance, the same
The smell
The colors
The real world feeling...it never lost its' meaning to me.

But somehow, the land has finished with me.
It doesn't need me anymore, doesn't call anymore.
I no longer feel that magnetic pull inward and outward
It's more of a dull memory.

But those sweet, tempting memories go way back in time;
Pulling on my heart strings until they feel ready to burst
I can't keep doing this to myself,
This remembering.

It hurts and it burns...the vague sense of overall peace that once was,
It is no more.

I will always love you, but for you I am mere vapor
Blown away swiftly in the winds of change..

And swift, it was.

74 is Waaaay Too Cold

This is sad, just sad.

I looked up the weather forecast for Tri Cities, Washington a few hours ago in a last minute effort to "prepare" for my one week vacation. And guess what I found??? At 9:10 pm when I arrive at the Pasco Airport it will be a whopping 74 degrees!

Are you kidding me??

I havent' felt 74 degrees since I walked past the refridgerated isle in Walmart a few months ago. 74 degrees is like the dead of winter to me. That's like 40 degrees below what I'm used to! Yes, it is 114 degrees here in Phoenix, Arizona...no lie. And that's not even all that bad.

So.

I'm bringing lots and lots of pants, sweaters, long sleeved shirts, and boots. Not going so far as to pack scarves and mittens, but trust me, I was *this* close.

Isn't it sad that I think 74 degrees is like the dead of winter?? Man I have lived here wayyy too long :)



Update: I'm headed off to the airport in about an hour to see all my precious lovins from Washingtonnn! Hopefully I don't end up sitting next to someone chatty on the plane, I hate talking to people when I'm flying. Throws off my groove.

Love you all, and have a fabulous week!

XOXO
Jourdan

Your Wish Is My Command - Love, Your Metabolism

Pretty sure I'm one of the lucky ones...
You have my permission to be envious, but remember, it won't be like this forever. I will soon have the metabolism of a regular human being, so don't get TOO envious :) Just wait till I'm 40. Hahaha...

Okay so I've been feeling a bit unhealthy lately...not fat, but just unhealthy. You see, I've been eating a bunch of junk food for like the last month and a half, and it has made me feel gross. So. Here's what I do. I cut out my constant snacking while at work and just eat a small lunch instead of munching on cheezits and whatnot in between. Then I only take one taco instead of two at dinner time. Then I eat a piece of gum instead of a chocolate bar from Bashas.

The end.

Now I'm back to my usual weight after..oh...say...a week and a half of trying??

Man, I take my metabolism for granted sometimes.




**UPDATE: Today is Sunday. I embark on my glorious reunion/trip to Washington on Tuesday. Yes, I'm still psyched. And ohhh my lord do I have a ton of people to visit. And without a car, no less! We'll just have to see how that turns out! I will post as soon as I catch a minute or two...Because, well, I love y'all.

Have a lovely week, everyone!!

Heavenly Architecture

"...The sufferings of this present timeare not worthy to be compared
with the glory that is to be revealed to us."
-Romans 8:18
from Brin at My Messy Thrilling Life today

My life is like a rollercoaster and I've said it before...it twists and it turns, and I don't know where I'm going until I get there. That's what it has been like ever since I moved from my hometown in Kennewick, Washington to the dry, hot Phoenix, Arizona. I hated it when I got here but I think God had a reason for it all...a divine design that was hidden from my eyes until His perfect timing determined that "it's time." Now I know.

Man, I'm looking back at my posts from when I first moved here and it's crazy how much I've changed. It is so humbling to re-read my grumbles and whines about coming here and then see how God has routed my life so perfectly for the near future. I would never be where I am at this moment...right now...if it weren't for this move. I'm sure of it.


All that to say...I am just having some of the BEST days of my life right now. My choices finally feel concurrent with His timing and it feels inexplicably perfect. My sister is home for a month (woohoo!), I put in my letter of resignation at work (which was a little bittersweet), I get to take a trip to Washington and visit all my good friends next week, and I get to start planning for my new life in New London...I couldn't be happier.

God works everything in His plan for the good of those who love Him.

...He really does...

I'm finishing up down here in Phoenix and I'll be off to New Hampshire towards the beginning of September!! That's a month :) Ah! I'm crazy excited.




"The light is breaking, the surface cracking...all the good is leaking through."

Holy Crap, I Got IN!

AS promised, here are those six words I really really wanted to be able to share with you all...."I Got Accepted, I'm Outta Here!!"

I just got the phone call today and I have been officially accepted into the Streams Ministries Internship Program in New London, New Hampshire! I will be leaving sometime around the 9th of September...

Wow, I am flying right now. I can't BELIEVE I got in! Well, I guess I can..I knew I was supposed to do this so I shouldn't really be surprised when God works it all out. But still. I'm in shock. And awe. And surprise...ment...And excited...ness.

Holy moley.

THANK YOU SO MUCH to all of you who prayed for me, I know it made a difference.


That's all I've got to say..

Thank You, Thank You Very Much!

I am a big girl now!!!

Translation: I just graduated from HIGH SCHOOL!

Ahh, finally. Sweet sweet freedom. Freedom from old cranky English teachers and smelly high school cafeterias. Freedom from the mean girls that look you up and down in the hallway..EVERY...SINGLE...DAY. Does it really matter that much to you what I wear on a daily basis?? Oh, and freedom from those mean, perfume sprayin, makeup cakin attendance ladies. I mean come on, if you hate your job that much you should really look into a career change. Seriously. Give a kid some candy every once in a while like those nice elementary school secretaries...they're so nice!

And really, I'm most happy to be done with the obligation. I hated having to turn something in every other day and risk the penalty of an "F" if I didn't. Ugh, I HATE that! Can't you just see that I work hard and give me an A automatically?

OH and non-multiple choice tests...I hated those too. Why can't every test have just three answers to choose from?? What will it be, A, B, or C? Pick one. You'll probably get it right. The end. Essay exams suck.

There goes my ranting...I'm a little out of breath, but on the whole feeling much much better. Ahh, sweet sweet freedom.

Oh and for my incredible perseverance and dedication to all things high school, I have earned myself a brand new MacBook Pro from the Apple store. I love it :) Thanks mom and dad!



I will be hearing about Streams School of Ministry within the next few days, so hopefully my next post will read something like "I Got Accepted, I'm Outta Here!"

But we'll see :)

XOXO
Jourdan

Saving Grace Turns 50!!

Or - well - Saving Grace turns a few months old while her posts turn 50...or whatever :)

Now this usually wouldn't come as such of a shock to most of you, but 50 whole blog posts is a pretty big deal to me.

I'm kind of a "starter-not-a-finisher" kind of gal, so I'm quite proud of myself for finishing fifty posts! I'd have drafts and drafts of random thoughts and tidbits without publishing a single one without my undying determination and love towards you, oh great blogosphere...

I can't believe I even got this far without quitting...honestly, i sort of expected myself to do a re-run of my last blog attempt "The Father's Heart" which lasted a few months before I got sick of thinking up interesting ideas for people to read about.

This time around has gone much better, i think :)

Maybe it's because I've matured just oh so much since the last time I tried blogging...at least I like to think of it that way...

So here's to you! Thanks for making my blogging worthwhile, even if you don't leave any comments or what have you...I know you're out there, and that means something. To all you fellow readers of my life, I salute you. Here's to another fifty, or five hundred, interesting blog posts that await.

XOXO
Jourdan

ps. I have a few good signs concerning Streams School of Ministry, but I will wait to tell you about the official outcome when it's...you know...official. Thanks for the prayers - keep 'em coming!!

Streams School of Ministry

"Ahem, ahem, I haaave a little update for you......"

I have officially applied to the Streams School of Ministry Internship Program! I just sent in my application packet with a personal video, recent picture, my written testimony, and the filled out 8-page application form, a few hours ago. I really feel led to do this program, and I just can't wait to find out if I got accepted!

I am extremely excited for this :)

So anyways, I have to get crackin on my support letter, so I will talk to you all very soon! And don't worry, I'll let you know when I find out anything important...

PS. Feel free to keep me in your prayers as I embark on this exciting new journey! I would greatly appreciate it!
XOXO
Jourdan

The Truth About Writing

I'm not gonna lie to you, I've been ultimately burnt out on writing lately. I've had boring essays, long assignments, bull-sh** discussion posts, and work emails to write...and honestly, I don't think I can stand it much longer. Summer classes will do that to ya.

I'm burnt OUT.

So I'm sorry if it has seemed that I don't care about blogging anymore...I do. But I've been deceived to think that writing is always boring, no matter how you look at it. I've been blinded by the darkness of online school LIES!

I will try to be a better blogger, I promise.

But hold on for a few more days (*ahem, or weeks) while I finish my online classes and rip off that tattered black blindfold of lies to see the truth, if only for a few measly seconds...that writing is not boring, it only gets tedious when you don't like what you're writing about.

Right? Right.

:)

Human Drano

I find myself at a crossroads...





Do I stay, or do I go? Do I get the scholastic diploma and muscle my way through 8 more weeks of school, or do I just settle for the general diploma and get done on the 30th? Do I go into Accounting, or Music? That's not even the half of what I have to decide on right now!! I have so many questions and choices, but I can't seem to find the answers inside of me. I'm a big blocked tube. Nothing can get in, nothing can get out. I've had too much stuff to worry about and not enough stuff I can let go of. I'm emotionally constipated. lol

I'm overstimulated,

Overstressed,

And - overtired.

I almost cried today just because I couldn't find a Word document on my computer...yeah, that's pretty tired. I keep telling myself "I just need a vacation, I just need a vacation..." but will I ever take one?? And will that actually help? Long-term?

I don't know how to fix these clogged pipes. I think I need a plumber.

Maybe there's some kind of human Drano I can chug to clear my system out once and for all.

Hmmph.

Now wouldn't that be nice?

Bye Bye Blackberry

Well...goodbye precious, darling blackberry curve. I will miss you terribly.


Hello iPhone 3G!





I am now officially part of the biggest technology fad since cellular phones were invented.

Awesome.